the lights will guide you home
by folie a plusieurs
Summary: "You aren't an ass. You're broken." -April/Alex, one-shot, for Leeshy.


**a/n: **I've decided aprilalex is my new otp, so I had to write another drabble. Of course, it turned into more than a drabble. So here is a AprilAlex oneshot, dedicated to the bitch who manipulated me into liking this pairing—Leeshy (Vanity Sinning).

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>the lights will guide you home<strong>_

_**& ignite your bones  
>and I will try to fix you."<br>**_-coldplay, fix you

* * *

><p>Everyone thinks that he's just a jerk; an ass who only cares about sex, boose, and himself. They assume he just doesn't care—that there's no actually reason. He is the way he is; there's no changing that.<p>

Once upon a time, April was one of those people. With her charts and fierce need for order, she just _assumed_. She didn't think about his past, his relationships, his family. She didn't think about it. But then she got to know him, and she realized something.

He's not an ass. He's broken.

And part of her just wants to fix him.

* * *

><p>It's raining outside when he finally snaps from the pressure. Things are tense, everyone is on edge after the mass trauma caused by an awful car accident they've just dealt with; they're all sleep deprived, especially Meredith, and emotions are getting the best of them.<p>

Alex is picking fights left and right, going out of his way to insult people. April observes him as he mutters about Cristina and Owen, and then says something about Meredith and Derek being next—ending, the way it seemed Cristina and Owen on the verge of.

Everyone thinks he's just an ass, but he's not. There's more to it than that, she decides as Cristina storms out of April's office, which is more like a lounge for them all than anything now.

Meredith doesn't mean to say it.

It's hard to be a new mother and a surgeon. She's sleep deprived and cranky and really, she doesn't mean for it to slip out, but Alex is being an ass like usual and she can't take it. So she hits him below the belt. "This is why Izzy left," she scowls, but everyone there can tell she regrets the words after they come out of her mouth.

She doesn't mean it—and it's no excuse really, because Alex Karev is the brother she never had—but really, he did have it coming.

Signing after he had stormed out of the room, knocking down several of April's things on the way, Meredith mutters, "I'll go apologize," but April, in a shocking fit of bravery shakes her head.

"I'll go." Her voice is shaky and unsure, but she wants to do this. Alex is her friend, no matter how much of a jerk he can be, and Meredith obviously needs sleep. So she'll go. She stands hastily and heads towards the door, before pausing, unsure of herself. Maybe she should let Meredith go. Alex practically hates her anyway. Signing, she glances back one last time at Meredith and Jackson, the latter who already pasted out on her couch.

Taking one last breath, she heads outside, all thoughts erased from her mind. She doesn't want to think.

* * *

><p>"Alex?" She cries over the sound of the rain. Without even thinking she goes to the roof. She likes it up here—it's nice, peaceful. It gives you the sense that you're on top of the world, even when that isn't true; even when things are so bad you couldn't be further from it.<p>

"Alex?" She calls again, softer this time, as she spots a hunched over silhouette. His hunched over silhouette. Walking closer, she recognizes his messy brown hair. He's staring out blankly at the city. He doesn't speak as she walks closer to him, the rain pouring over them both, soaking them.

She likes this feeling—being under the rain like this. It's nice, refreshing. The cool water hits her skin as she reaches her hand out, laying it gently on her shoulder. "She didn't mean it," her voice is soft and for a moment, she's jealous of the hold Isobel Stevens still has over Alex. A part of her wants nothing more than to have that same hold over him.

"She did," his voice is harsh and he finally turns to look at April. "She did," he repeats, his voice softer this time. "Because it's true."

She shouldn't do what she does next, but she's April Kepner and she doesn't know what else to do, and damn does he look like he needs a hug. So she steps forward and wraps her arms around him, and she hugs Alex.

He doesn't shove her away; doesn't call her some horrid name and run, the way she expects him to. Instead, he wraps his arms tentatively around her and hugs back, because she's right—he needs this. After a second, April speaks, his shoulder slightly muffling her voice.

"Izzy wasn't good enough for you, Alex." Her voice is soft, yet firm as she says this and he can tell she actually means it—that she's not just trying to make him feel better. A part of him wants nothing more than to push her away and to turn and run. He'll break April. He'll tear her to pieces with his drama and baggage and he really doesn't want to be responsible for ruining her. But he doesn't run—for the first time since Izzy left, he doesn't run.

He's just so tired of running. He doesn't want to run anymore.

Alex is quiet and she waits for him to shove her away and start yelling. He doesn't. Instead, he responds quietly. "Then who is?"

The mood changes and April swallows hard. Alex pulls away slightly to look at her as he repeats his question.

She's suddenly nervous. She's spent the past year trying to bury her feelings for Alex in petty blind dates that never work out and work, work, work. It's all too easy to forget how hard it actually is to just stop wanting someone.

His eyes bore into hers and maybe it's just that she's so tired, but she swears there's something here. Something he obviously feels too.

"I'm sorry," he says, finally, before she can respond. "I'm sorry for being such an ass to you," he murmurs, without moving his eyes from hers. He's still so close to her and she's intoxicated by it, but she manages to speak.

"You aren't an ass. You're broken." Her voice is so simple—like that's all there is to it. Like it's nothing, as if she doesn't _mind _it, and he can't help himself anymore; he can't hold back.

He cups her cheeks with his hands and presses his lips roughly to hers. He doesn't think about Izzy, or Meredith, or his family. He doesn't think, he just kisses her like there will be no tomorrow.

She wraps her arms around him after getting over the initial shock—_oh my god, Alex Karev is kissing me!_-and pulls him closer to her, kisses him back passionately. It's nothing like before—no, it's a million times better.

Alex is broken, sure. But who says he can't be fixed? Any, maybe, just maybe, April will be the one to fix him.

* * *

><p><strong>an: **no favourites without a review, please! :)


End file.
